Absolute Insanity!
by loveREMIX
Summary: The twins, Miaka & Yui are forced to play a survival game where they have to live as couples in a remote cabin for ONE month without killing! Can Suboshi survive being with Miaka and her stomach? Can Yui survive Amiboshi's hippie-ness? Read & find out!
1. Prologue: Forced and Tortured

**Author's Notes**: This fic was inspired by watching/reading too much episodes of Ouran High School Host Club and watching a LOT of comedy shows and movies (like Family Guy, The Simpsons and SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!). Actually, I've read a fic similar to this one, but that fic didn't really have a plot. So, I hope you enjoy this one!! There is a LOT of Suboshi bashing and Miaka being all creepy. This isn't a Miaka/Suboshi pairing, nor an Amiboshi/Yui pairing! I swear! By the way, if you're asking why I wrote this, it's not because I hate Suboshi… Suboshi's one of my favorite characters! Actually, I try to write as much stories about him. I'm a Seiryuu Twin fan ^^; that's why this fic is starring them again!

By the way, everyone might be a tad too OOC here, but it's for the sake of comedy, people!! Again, enjoy!

**Prologue: "Forced and Tortured"**

One day in the beautiful place of Ancient China, inside the book called "The Universe of the Four Gods", Taiitsukun called all of the Suzaku and Seiryuu Seishi including Miaka and Yui for a special announcement…

Tamahome: Hey, hey, ugly old hag! What are you calling us here for? Huh, huh?

Tasuki: (in a sarcastic tone) Yeah, yeah! Huh? Why? Huh?

Taiitsukun: (wacks the two using Tasuki's Tessen) Shut up! Keep quiet! Silence! Shush your mouth! Shut yer pie-holes! Stop talking!

Tamahome and Tasuki: Umm… okay… (then both of them fall of unconscious with nasty bumps on their heads)

Taiitsukun: Anyways, I called all of you here because I've got a special announcement I need to make, regarding Miaka and Yui-

Miaka: Kyakyakyaaaaaa~!!! (squeals, jumps, unties both the ribbons on her hair and begins shaking her head like a retard) Yes, yes, yes, Taiitsukun?! You called for me, Taiitsukun?!! What is it, Taiitsukun?!!! What do you want me to do Taiitsukun??!!! Is it something really, really exciting Taiitsukun????!!!!

Everyone: (sweatdrops) ……

Taiitsukun: (clears her throat) *Ahem* As I was saying… Miaka and Yui will be joining this rather interesting game… together with the Seiryuu twins!!!

Suboshi: (sparkles surrounding him) Yay!! (starts glomping both Yui and Amiboshi) Yay!! I can be in a game together with Yui-sama and Aniki!!!

Yui: (cloud of doom appears) Hey! Wait a minute! Don't I have a say in this?!

Amiboshi: What kind of game is it Taiitsukun-san?

Taiitsukun: (grins) Mwahahahahaha!!! (two of her eyeballs pop out) Bwamwahahahohohohehei!!!! (starts sticking out her tongue and twists it madly) *cough* *cough* Umm, sorry for that… Now, to answer Amiboshi's question… this game is sort of like a "survival-love game". Do you want me to start with the rules and guidelines?

Amiboshi: Yes, please!

Taiitsukun: Okay… (takes out the list of rules from her hair) The rules are very simple. You, Suboshi, Yui and Miaka will be paired up into couples, by the boy-girl combination… duh. Once you have your partner, you will live with him/her for exactly ONE month as a couple inside a cabin deep, deep, deep in the mountains.

Yui: What the hell? I don't wanna do this game… (eyes start tearing up) I still have school to attend…

Suboshi: (glomps her like a maniac again) Don't, don't, don't cry, my Yui-sama!! (hugs her too tight, she can't breathe) I'll be the best partner you'll ever be partners with!

Yui: ugh… ackk… keh, brih…!! ::can't… breathe!::

Taiitsukun: (cackles wildly) Suboshi… who says Yui will be your partner??

Suboshi: (stares bewilderedly and looks around) Huh? Yui-sama's not? Then who- *his sentence is cut out by Miaka who 'accidentally' pukes out rotten dog food on to Suboshi's orange tunic*

Miaka: Hey… (unties her ribbons again and shakes her head like a crazy, crazy idiot)… Suboshi… my partner… is YOU!!!

Suboshi: *gulps* No… no, no… no fuckin' way… not you-

Miaka: Suboshi… [::says this in a scary, creepy, hoarse tone::] *picks her boogers then eats it* Suboshi…

Suboshi: (screams and breaksdown) NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Amiboshi: (pats his brother's back) it's okay, otouto.

Yui: (trying not to laugh) Yeah., Suboshi! Don't worry. I've been with Miaka all my life, you'll get used to her. One month's easy!

Suboshi: (ignores Yui, and grabs his brother) Aniki! Let's switch partners! NOW! You've been with this smelly fatty chicken-wing Priestess before right?! So, let's switch!! Please, please, please!!

Taiitsukun: (storms in on them) NO CHANGING OF PARTNERS!!

Suboshi: N-NO! I can't live with that _thing_! (points to a drooling Miaka)

Tamahome: (finally becomes conscious) Yeah Taiitsukun! He can't live with my girlfriend! Only I can – plus,he's a pshyco perverted yo-yo freak! Before you know it, he'll be touching Miaka like a maniac that he is!

Suboshi: What the fu-?! Eewww!! Yuck!! Gross! Who'd wanna do _that_ with her?! I don't even wanna touch her! Disgusting!

Taiitsukun: (makes tons of money, gold and wealthy-looking things appear before everyone's eyes) Tamahome, if you allow Miaka to join this game with Suboshi, you can keep all of this money… (grins)

Tamahome: (doesn't hesitate) Sure! Go ahead! Miaka's _all_ yours! Take good care of her Suboshi!

Suboshi: (bawls his eyes out) In that case, I QUIT!

Taiitsukun: Nuh-uh-uh. You can't quit! If you do, I will make your brother forget you again, and again. And I will use this curse so that he will never ever remember you. I'll curse Yui too!

Amiboshi: Get yourseld together, Shunkaku! It's only for a month!

Suboshi: (he hangs his head low) Ughhh… (he changes his shirt to a black one, then he puts on dark-black converse shoes) Ughhhhh….. *puts dark eyeliner on his eyes, gets rid of his forehead protector and combs his bangs front so that it covers his eyes) Ugghhhhhhhh… (then, he slashes his wrists with the cords of his Ryuuseisui) Now… my… life is… over…. over… over…

Yui: (slaps him lightly on the shoulder) Stop that! It's creepy. Being _Emo_ doesn't cut it for you!

Suboshi: (not listening) over… over… over… (slashes his wrists some more)

Amiboshi: ouch! (lifts his sleeves up and discovers several cuts on his arm) Shunkaku! Stop doing that! Your slashing is affecting me too!

Suboshi: (stops slashing) my life is still over… over…

Taiitsukun: Okay, moving on to the next rules… Whoever wins by the end of the month gets a fantastic, awesome, fabulous prize!

Suboshi: (widens his eyes) Yesss….

Taiitsukun: The prize is… 3 wishes from each God!! So, the winner of this game is equivalent to winning 12 wishes!!!

Suboshi: (stars grinning) Yess… Yesss. (gets rid of his emo get up)

Nakago: (his symbol on his forehead glows) hey! It's not fair to us!!

Everyone except for Amiboshi, Suboshi, Yui and Miaka: (holds torches, rakes, knives and whatever) YEAH! NOT FAIR!

Taiitsukun: (ignores them) You are allowed visitors once in a week.

Suboshi: Yesss… yesss… *imagines killing everyone, especially Tamahome and the Suzaku seishi when they come and visit*

Taiitsukun: You're allowed to bring weapons, knives and anything deadly with you.

Suboshi: Yess…. Yessss…. *imagines killing Miaka with a fork when she sleeps* Yesss…

Taiitsukun: BUT…

Yui: What now?

Taiitsukun: (looks up at everyone, especially Suboshi) you are NOT allowed to go out of your cabin; food, clothes and everything you need will be given to you every week or anytime you need it. You are also not allowed to go visit the other cabin. But you may call the other players to see how they are doing.

And most importantly… (grins)… you are _NOT_ allowed to kill anybody, especially your partner! This is why I call it the "love-survival game"!

Yui: For Suboshi, I think it should be called "enemy-survival-game" *looks at Suboshi who is 'dead'*

After the little meeting, Taiitsukun brings everyone on the mountains, in the remote lush forest where two cabins stand. It's not very big; just your usual, wooden cabins, with only ONE room (not to mention, only ONE bed!). The kitchen and the living room is combined and outside is just your regular, average-looking garden and forest.

Taiitsukun: Alright. I'm the facilitator and the judge. As I said earlier, you are not allowed to go out of your cabins nor kill anyone. These trees (points to the trees) are actually video cameras made especially for this game! *points to Nakago, Tamahome, Tasuki, Soi and Chiriko* And you, are going to be my assistant-judges.

Nakago: Why do I have to listen to you?

Soi: (hugs Nakago) Yeah! Nakkie-poo only listens to me… _you_, Taiitsukun, are _not_ sexy enough!

Taiitsukun: If you do this, I'll give you one wish.

Nakago: Okay! I'll do it! Bring it on!

Taiitskun: (grins) Very well… are you all ready for the game?

Yui: Ugh, you people had to drag me along. But, oh well, sounds fun. Yeah! I'm ready!

Amiboshi: I'm ready too! This time, I'll get to know more about Yui-san. (smiles)

Miaka: I'M READY!! *she says it like how SpongeBob says it!^^;* I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!!!!!!! (she turns to Suboshi) This is gonna be fun!! Right, Subu-chan?!

Suboshi: (looks annoyed) Don't call me that!!!

Taiitsukun: Looks like our players are ready!!! So, let's get this game started, shall we? (opens the doors to both the cabins) Amiboshi and Yui, you two take the one on the left.

Amiboshi and Yui (in unison): Okay.

Taiitsukun: (turns to Suboshi and Miaka) Now, you two, take the one on the right!

Tamahome: Take care! I'll visit you every week… Miaka!

Miaka: Aishiteru, Tamahome!

Tamahome: Wo Ai Ni! Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Mia-(Tamahome is grabbed by Nakago and Tasuki)

Tasuki: that's enough, Tama! We have to let them get started on this game! Plus, we get to have wishes after this!

Tamahome: Right! Bye! Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

The two cheesy lovers hug and hug.

Miaka: Oh… Tamahome!!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tama-

Suboshi: (interrupts her sentence) Enough with this gag!

Miaka: (groans and pouts) fine!

Taiitsukun: (pushes Miaka and Suboshi into the cabin) The game has begun! You two have fun now! (closes the door shut)

Silence… at least for three seconds and suddenly the whole cabin shakes and a thunder-like roar fills the room.

Suboshi: (looks out the window) What the hell was that?! Is there a storm heading this way or something?

Miaka: No… I'm just… HUNGRY!!! (bites Suboshi's fingers)

Suboshi: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

His piercing cry can be heard from outside the cabin, entering its way to Yui and Amiboshi's turf.

Amiboshi: (Putting on a futon inside the bedroom) Poor otouto.

Yui: (fixing her stuff) Yup. Suboshi's lost it.

Suboshi: No, no! (small tears already making its way down his cheeks) I'm so gonna die!

Miaka: Suboshi… (unties her ribbon again) Suboshi… (she moves slowly towards him. Closer, and closer…)

Suboshi: No! get away from me! Get away! (His Ryuuseisui comes to his aid) Back away now or I'm going to kill you!

Miaka: Nuh-uh-uh! You're not allowed to kill me remember? Heehee.

Taiitsukun: (watches everything from her magical mirror) Hahaha! This is going to be interesting! *cackles wildly like an old lady*

Well, that's it folks! That's about it for the introduction! The next chapter (?) will contain more plots! How was it? If it was kind of lame, I'm sorry, I'll discontinue it! So please REVIEW and tell me what you think! Later days! ^^;


	2. Day 1: It's Too Early For Hell!

**Author's Notes: **Here's the second chapter! More bashing and rambling! Hehe. ^^; This was easy to write! By the way, I forgot to mention, I don't own Fushigi Yuugi!!!! Well, hope you like this one! Enjoy!

**Day 1: It's Too Early For Hell!**

The sun rises, painting the sky with a bright orange-y redish color. And in the remote forest where the two cabins stood completely still…

Yui: *yawns* (gets out of bed and walks to the kitchen where Amiboshi is) Morning!

Amiboshi: Good morning!

Yui: (takes a seat) You made breakfast?? Aww… you shouldn't have! ::looks at the pancakes, waffles, cereal, milk and etc that's set on top of the table::

Amiboshi: Go and have a bite! *smiles*

Yui: (takes a bite of Amiboshi's cooking) *spits it out* Actually, you really _SHOULDN'T_ have made breakfast!! What did you make this food with anyway?! Poison?!

Amiboshi: (blinks confusedly) No… ::takes out a cooking book entitled: "Cooking For Natural African-Loving Vegetarians":: Actually, everything here's made of dandelions, flower petals and stems, tree barks, cowshit, pigshit _and_ dogshit!

Yui: *gulps* (rushes to the fridge and to the cabinets) What the hell?! There's no meat, no junks, no sweets, and no MEAT!!! I thought we had to be alive by the end of the month!

Amiboshi: Well, yeah. I _am_ a vegetarian. The side of meat churns my stomach. Vegetables and natural minerals are what's best for staying fit and healthy! At least that's what I think. We'll be able to make it by the end of the month! And if you're so desperate for meat… ::takes out a hamburger and hands it to Yui:: Here, eat this! It's made of cow and pigshit! A healthy combination! (smiles)

Yui: What. The. Fuck?

Amiboshi: I told you. I'm an anti-meat-eater! Cowshit and Porkshit is the closest to meat! Plus, hamburger's made of the same animals!

Yui: You've got to be kidding me! Please say you're bluffing!

Amiboshi: (smiles proudly) Don't worry! I'm _not_ a liar! Staying healthy should always be one's top priority! That's why whenever I eat cake or other sweets, I immediately stop to think what they're made of!

Yui: *shivers* B-But! I _hate_ vegetables! Vegetables are the most horrible food beyond human knowledge!

Amiboshi: Well, you're going to be stuck eating raw, fresh and healthy for this month because I made a pact with Taiitsukun-san never to have sweets, junks or anything meaty in our cabin!

Yui: (panics and checks out the fridge again) ~ Phew! At least there's still good ole Coca Cola! (grabs open the coke bottle and takes a sip) *BLEEEHHHHH!!!!* This coke AIN'T coke!! ::opens five other coke bottles to no avail:: What happened to our soda pops?! They all taste like shit!!

Amiboshi: Early this morning, I replaced all our drinks with natural sea water, and the sodas with vinegar! Seat water is good for the vision, and vinegar makes your muscles and skin much healthier! ::says it sooo mater-of-factly::

Yui: ::cloud of doom appears:: Oh. Hell. No.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Suboshi and Yui are in a field filled with beautiful flowers. The pink cherry-blossoms are dancing gracefully around the two. Yui is wearing a beautiful, elegant, flowy white dress, and a blue-rose ribbon adorns her straight short-cut sandy blonde hair.

Yui: (places a kiss on Suboshi's cheek) Suboshi… I've always wanted to thank you for protecting me… and for being kind to me.

Suboshi: *blushes* U-Umm… t-thanks. (looks down)

Yui: *giggles* ::holds his hand:: Suboshi… you're so cute when you blush!

Suboshi: (gets a handful of pretty pink flowers) Here… Yui-sama… It's for you! I wanted to um, tell you that I love you!! (quickly hands her the flowers)

Yui: ::takes it:: *turns around and begins chewing on the flowers! Her face slowly transforms into… dun-dun-dun… MIAKA!!*

Suboshi: *gasps* Aaaahhhh!! What have you done to my Yui-sama?!!

Miaka: (glomps him and licks his face) You gave me pretty, pretty flower! Flower pretty like me!

Suboshi: (shoves her off him) No, I didn't!! I gave those flowers to yui-sama!!! (pushes Miaka backwards she falls to the ground)

Miaka: ::drools and gets up, tackling Suboshi:: Ooooh. You toucha meh! Now you mussa love me!!

Suboshi: YUI-SAMA!! NOOOOOO!!! (wakes up cold to see Miaka's face)

Miaka: HEY SUBOSHI!! YOU'RE UPPPP!!!! *jumps on him*

Suboshi: *grunts* ugghhh…. (forcefully pushes her off) Get the hell away from me!!!

Miaka: Ouch… okay, c'mon wakey-wakey now Suboshi!!! (gets back up his bed)

Suboshi: (buries his face with 5 pillows)

Miaka: Wakey-wakey! LET'S EAT BREAKY-FASTY!!

Suboshi: It's too early for food….

Miaka: It's NEVER too early!!! C'mon! FOOD! FOOD! *jumps on him again)

Suboshi: Fine! If you want some fuckin' food, go and make it!!! ::pissed off::

Miaka: (opens the cabinet and the fridge) I'll make… scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes!!! Wheee ~ !!!!

Suboshi: (sweatdrops) For breakfast?!

Miaka: Yeah!

Miaka: (starts frying, and baking and mixing and setting the table and whatever kitchen stuff. -_-)

A few seconds later…

Miaka: Okay, Suboshi!! Time to eat!!! (puts down a plate of nasty-looking breakfast food)

Suboshi: (takes a bit; unfortunately, he hasn't been warned of Miaka's terrible cooking!) Bleck! This taste even worse than shit!

Miaka: (tears up) You… don't like it? *sniffs*

Suboshi: Don't like it? I _hate_ it!

Miaka: WAAAAHHHHHHH~!!!!

Suboshi: Shut up. _I'll_ make breakfast! You stay still for the next hour!

Miaka: (perks up and stops crying) Okee dokee!!

*~*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile, as Suboshi suffers, Taiitsukun, Tamahome, nakago, Soi, Tasuki and Chiriko are up in Daichi-san watching everything that's happening in the game.

Tamahome: (sniffs) My poor, poor Miaka.

Taiitsukun: (watches everything from the mirror) Things are getting crazy.

Nakago: It's interesting to see Yui-sama and Suboshi suffer like this.

Chiriko: Yeah… but I wonder, Taiitsukun-sama… Why did you decide to make this game?

Tasuki: Yeah, Taiitsukun. Why???

Taiitsukun: (grins) Actually, this _really_ isn't a game.

Soi: It's not?

Taiitsukun: Some time ago, I lost a bet with the Four Gods. Then stupid Byakko had to say, _"Everyone! Taiitsukun's punishment will be tricking two of the Seiryuu seishi and two Priestesses into playing a 'survival game' that'll make them go insane! Then she'll be video-taping everything and then we can post it on YouTube!!"_

Chiriko: So that means the winner of the game won't be getting wishes?

Taiitsukun: Of course they will! 12 to be exact! And _you_, my assistant-judges, will continue to watch over them. If you do your job right, one wish will be given to you…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Miaka: (runs around) Hey Suboshi! What'dya wanna do now? Huh?

Suboshi: I don't know. Stop asking me!

Miaka: But you're the only one I can ask! It's only two of us here after all! (freezes) Wait! I know! Let's invite Tamahome!

Suboshi: NO!

Miaka: (already calling) Umm, hello? Yes, yes, please bring him here!

Suboshi: Damn it! (bangs his head on the wall)

BAM! The cabin door opens wide…

Tamahome: THE NEEDED ONE HAS ARRIVED!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Mia-

Suboshi: (throws a book at Tamahome's way, which Tamahome managed to dodge impressively) Shut up! I'll kill you both!

Tamahome: (waves his hands) Nuh-uh-uh, Suboshi! You can't kill your guest or your partner. *grins* Fufufufu.

Suboshi: *Bangs his head on the microwave.* Fuck. This.

Tamahome: (pats Suboshi on the back) Don't worry, Suboshi! Just because Yui is in love with me and not with you, doesn't mean you have to go all suicidal!

Suboshi: SHUT UP, Tama-Pussy!

Tamahome: ::GLARES:: What. Did. You. Say, Yo-yo boy?

Suboshi: I said PUSSY! What? Do you wanna go join the Pussycat Dolls group or something?! (AN: Okay, _that_ was random ^^;)

Tamahome: You are going to die when this game is over.

Suboshi: *grins* So are you.

Tamahome: Oh shut up.

Suboshi: (ignores Tamahome and scribbles something on his arm) 'Hey Aniki. This game's hell for me! How are you doing with Yui-sama?'

(Amiboshi's writing appears: 'We're doing great! We're having lunch now!')

Suboshi: ::sighs:: At least you two are good…

Miaka: (tugs on Suboshi's tunic) Hey Suboshi… make me food! Now!

Suboshi: *grunts*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cabin 1: Team Yui and Amiboshi…

Yui: ::thinks to herself:: You can have visitors one in a week, right?

(checks to see if Amiboshi's around. He's not)

Yui: After having that disgusting lunch, I better go call Tetsuya and have him come over! (goes to the phone and dials) Hello? Tetsuya? Can you come visit me here? Yeah, I'm in a game! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, so come over here right no-

Taiitsukun: ::Her voice appears on the other end of the phone line, cutting off Tetsuya:: SORRY! But you've already invited a guest! You can only invite once!

Yui: yeah, I know! And I'm inviting Tetsuya.

Taiitsukun: Nuh-uh. Amiboshi has already reserved his spot for inviting guests for the whole month, so you can't invite any guests any more!

Yui: (gasps then slams the phone) Ugh!!!!! When did h- *suddenly, she hears a flute playing and several other flutes following it*

Yui: ::checks to see where the flutes are coming from:: *and the direction's in… their bedroom!!!*

Yui immediately freezes when she spots Amiboshi sitting down a chair playing the flute to a bunch of Africans! The bed has been moved to the side, and chairs have been replaced on the center, as well as a mini blackboard that is sticking on the wall.

Yui: Okay, am I missing something? What the hell is going on here?!!

Amiboshi: (smiles) Oh, Yui-san! You see, every Mondays, I hold a flute-learning session to my friends from Africa – the Turk-tribe! I don't want my schedule to be interrupted even if I'm joining this game. ::faces to the Africans:: Turk-tribe, meet Yui-san! Yui-san, meet Turk-tribe!

Yui: …..

::One African dude who's fat and old (and has this weird mohawk hair style) comes from the back and goes his way towards Yui and Amiboshi and then introduces himself::

African Man: _Hallo! Lekker om jou te ontmoet! Wat is jou naam?_ (Translation: "Hello! Nice to meet you. What is your name?") [AN: This is real African language!]

Yui: (sweatdrops) Umm, can you speak my language?

African Man: Why, yes, of course! (smiles jolly) Ohohoho!! ::he has an accent of an Arabian^^;::

Yui: (sweatdrops) Oookkaaayyy….

African Man: My name is Mufasa-Simba-Hakuna-Matata! But you can call me African Man.

Amiboshi: African Man-san is my best friend! (smiles) I met him when I was living as a missionary in Africa…

Yui: When the heck?!

Amiboshi: Umm, too much details…

African Man: Amiboshi taught me how to play flute! (shows Yui a tune he learned)

Yui: Umm, that's very… nice?

African Man: *blushes* ooohhh… I think, _ek is lief vir jou_!! (Translation: "I love you")

Yui: Uhh, what was that African Man-san?

African Man: (smiles giddily)

Amiboshi: I think African Man-san is attracted to you! (smiles) Now, we can all be friends! Isn't this great?!

Yui: ::mumbles:: shiiiiiiittttttttt.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ahh… Night time has finally arrived. At last. In Cabin 2 where Suboshi and Miaka stay…

Miaka: Now, wasn't that a good dinner?!

Suboshi: Well duh. _I_ cooked it!

Miaka: Ohh yeah… I forgot… hmmm… (a moment of silence……..) Okay! Let's sleep now!! (turns off light)

Suboshi: *grumbles* Fine. Hey! Stop rolling into my side of the bed!!!

Miaka: Tamahome…

??? : Miaka….

Miaka: Tamahome…

??? : Miaka…

Suboshi: (turns the light on) What the hell was that just now?! I thought I heard Tamahome's voice! Did you bring him here?!

Miaka: Noo… (shows him a small cute Tamahome plush doll) Whenever you squeeze Tama-chan's chest, a recording of his voice which says my name plays! See? Look! Tamahome… (squeezes the plush doll)

Tamahome Doll: Miaka…

Miaka: Tamahome… (squeezes doll)

Tamahome Doll: Miaka…

Miaka: Tamahome… (squeezes doll)

Tamahome Doll: Miaka…

Miaka: Tamahome… (squeezes doll)

Tamahome Doll: Miaka…

Suboshi: Ughh….

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well, what do you think of this one? Review please! ^6;


	3. Day 2: The Horror!

**Author's Notes: **Thanks to miyuchan101 for reviewing!I'm going to try and post a chapter everyday. Well, here's the third chapter! Enjoy!

**Day 2: The Horror!**

SUBOSHI'S DREAM...

Suboshi is sitting on a huge,golden throne and is wearing a crown that says "I am King of the Universe!" Amiboshi is seated in a throne just next to him playing a miserable tune on his flute, and Yui is sitting on Suboshi's lap, fanning him. Nakago, Soi, Ashitare, Tomo and Miboshi are his loyal guards.

Nakago: (bows down) Oh, Lord Suboshi! I will bow to you and you will be forever the new Lord I will worship! (turns to the rest of the Seiryuu Seishi) You fools! Come bow with me and humor our Lord Suboshi!

::The six other Seiryuu Seishi follow, bow, praise and worship Suboshi::

The Suzaku Seishi, on the other hand, are Suboshi's ugly servants, whom he has forgot to feed for one month, and they are looking extra uglier, bony and rotten. They are each chained on the wall as decorators, while Tamahome is chained to the ceiling wearing only Miaka's old panties, holding a torch (he serves as their light).

Suboshi: Chant and praise for me, ugly servants!

Suzaku Seishi: All hail Lord Suboshi! All hail Lord Suboshi! ::cycle goes on for about five minutes::

Suboshi: (stands up) That is enough! Now, bring on the fat bitch!

(Drum starts rolling…)

And in rolls Miaka whose metabolism has been destroyed, so she is as fat/big as a whale; actually, even bigger. On her forehead is a sign that says "World's Fattest Bitch".

Suboshi: (raises a sword) Guards! Fry this fat pig immediately and give it to the wolves as appetizers!

Seiryuu Seishi: ::they do as they are told::

Suboshi: (turns to Yui) How are you feeling, my princess?

Yui: *frowns ( I'm okay… it's just that, I regret having loved Tamahome and not you Suboshi! (gives him a kiss) You're so cute, handsome, talented and strong! I love you so, so much! (glares at Tamahome) Why did I ever love such an ugly cat like Tamahome?! *sobs*

Suboshi: (kisses Yui's forehead) No need to cry, my Yui-sama! I love you with all of my heart no matter what you feel… (narrows his eyes at Tamahome chained to the ceiling) You despicable ugly pussy… Guards! Kill this wuss now! *glares at Tamahome one last time* Tamahome, you're presence is making me and Yui-sama suffer…

Tamahome: Ah! This isn't the last you've seen of me!!! ::being dragged to prison by Ashitare and Tomo::

Yui: *hugs Suboshi and kisses him again and again* I love youuuuuuu!!!!

Suboshi: (back to reality) *drools* Ohhhh…. Yuiiii-sammmaaaaaaaa……

Miaka: (glomps Suboshi from the back) YO SUBOSHI!!! Whatcha thinkin' about?! Why are you blushing like hell, huh??!!

Suboshi: (looks away) None of your beeswax, filthy serv- I mean, Miaka!

Miaka: ::circles around him:: Ooooh, you like someone don't you?! Who is it?! Who is it?! C'mon, tell me! I can keep a secret!

Suboshi: Shut up! You're annoying! I'll never tell you!

Miaka: Hey! Do you wanna know what Soi thinks of you?

Suboshi: I don't know and I don't give a damn.

Miaka: Well… do you wanna know what Yui-chan thinks of you?!

Suboshi: ::freezes:: (jumps up and grabs Miaka) What?! Tell me what Yui-sama thinks of me, obedient serv- I mean baka- err, Miaka! Tell me! Tell me!!!!

Miaka: *grins* Fufufu. I've hit the jacpot. Fufufu. You like Yui-chan don't you?!

Suboshi: Huh? Wh-?! Wait a sec- damn you retard! (chases after Miaka)

Miaka: (runs to the telephone) I'm gonna go call Yui-chan now!! ::dials number::

Yui: (picks up phone) hello? *her voice is slured; looks like she just woke up* Who'dis?

Miaka: HEY YUI-CHAN! GUESS WHAT?! SUBOSHI- ::beep:: ::beep:: ::beep:: (the line on the other end was cut)

Yui: Hmm? Oh well (slams the phone and buries her face under the pillow)

Suboshi: That's enough! Now you stay and be good, and I'll make you food!!

Miaka: (freezes on the couch) okay! ::then skips to the kitchen::

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yui: *yawns* can't sleep anymore… *yawn* ughh… the damn Africans and Amiboshi were playing music all night! It's only day two, but if this keeps going on, I'll…!

Amiboshi: (wakes up fresh as a daisy) Oh! You're awake! Good morning, Yui-san! Shall I cook breakfast now?

Yui: *sighs* You go do whatever you want…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Miaka: (paces around the living room) I'm bored… I'm bored… so, so very bored… I'm bored…

Suboshi: Shut up baka Miaka! I mean, Mi-baka! Hey, that rhymes!

Miaka: Suboshi you big meaaaannnnnnyyyy!!!

Suboshi: Oh! That rhymes too. Sort of.

Miaka: Meah! 'Suboshi' also rhymes with 'Ryuuseisui' and 'Sushi'!! Say, does my name rhyme with anything nice?

Suboshi: (thinks…) Yeah! 'Miaka' rhymes with 'motherfucka', but best of all, it rhymes with 'baka'!!

Miaka: NO!

Suboshi: Well, I don't know! I'm not a rhymer!

Miaka: (pouts) Well you know what else rhymes with Suboshi?!

Suboshi: What?

Miaka: It rhymes with UGLY!!

Suboshi: *gets pissed* Why you- ::chases her around and around::

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yui: At least breakfast was better than yesterday's. Fruit Salad… yeah, waayyy better than yesterday's! (goes to the bathroom) I guess I'll go take a nice, warm shower to kill time.

::Goes inside the bathtub and opens the shower. But what came out wasn't water… but MUD!::

Yui: *her hair and everything is filled with mud* (shrieks, grabs a towel and rushes out of the bathroom* AMIBOSHI!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE SHOWER??!!!!

Amiboshi: Ohh… I forgot to tell you… this morning, while making breakfast, I called taiitsukun and asked her to replace all of our bath water with natural mud!!

Yui: Why the hell would you do that?! Are you completely insane??!!!!

Amiboshi: Natural mud cleans the body thoroughly, unlike water. Plus, mud is natural gift created by God and it softens the complexion of the skin.

Yui: God… help me…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Suboshi: (Sitting on the couch looking stressed out and VERY tired. His eye bags are already popping out)

Miaka: (sits beside him) Suboshi!

Suboshi: … ::he's out of it::

Miaka: Hey! Suboshi!

Suboshi: …

Miaka: Suboshi!!

Suboshi: …

Miaka: Subu-chan!

Suboshi…

Miaka: Hey! Psychotic yo-yo boy!!

Suboshi: …

Miaka: (waves her hand near his eyes) Earth to Suboshi!!

Suboshi: …

Miaka: Suboshi. Suboshi. Suboshi.

Suboshi… ::still no answer::

Miaka: Su-chan. Subu-chan. Sububu-chan. Subububu-chan!!! (says it really fast)

Suboshi: …

Miaka: Subububububububu-chaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! (practically yells at his ear)

Suboshi: (turns around and glares, revealing his very very tired features, with heavy, heavy eyebags, and messy, messy hair) WHHHAAATTTTTTTTT?????!!!!!!!

Miaka: Hi! (runs out to the bedroom)

Suboshi: (bangs his head on the table)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Miaka: ::opens the TV and puts it on a certain cartoon channel:: Hey Suboshi! Come here! Let's watch a nice, nice TV show!

Suboshi: ok…

(The TV plays a strange, weird, but nonetheless catchy tune)

Miaka: We're watching… SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!! (grabs a mini microphone and sings along with Spongebob's opening theme song…) Ohh! Who lives in a Pineapple under the sea?! (gives microphone to Suboshi)

Suboshi: …

Miaka: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!  
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!  
Spongebob… SQUAREPANTS!!!

Suboshi: (thinking: _this insanity's driving me crazzyyyyy!!!_) *grits his teeth and starts daydreaming as the show goes on*

Miaka: Oh, Suboshi~!! I'm sorry for annoying you! Please don't kill me!

Suboshi: Sorry doesn't cut it, bitch!! (Gets his Ryuuseisui)

Miaka: Oh, please have mercy!!

Suboshi: SILENCE, you fat ass!! (turns to Yui who is hugging him) Don't worry Yui-sama… I will see to it that this obese slut never harms you again.

Yui: (kisses him) Ohh!!! Thank you… Suboshi~!!!

Suboshi: (turns to Tamahome) And you… ugly servant… What do you have to say for yourself before I dispose of you?

Tamahome: (bowd down) Lord Suboshi! I am so sorry for doing anything that upset you!! You can do anything with Miaka and I will never do anything to your Yui ever again!! I now see that you have done me a favor by killing my family! They were whiny little rodents who needed to be killed! (kisses Suboshi's shoes) Thank you, my Lord!!

Yui: (hides behind Suboshi) He is so… ugly!!

Suboshi: GUARDS! Cease this ugly servant of mine immediately to the chambers where he will be dealt with later.

Tamahome: BYE-BYE, YOUR HIGHNESS~!!!!!! (rushes to the chambers with the guards)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Miaka: Stop daydreaming Suboshi! You just missed 2 awesome episodes of Spongebob!!

Suboshi: ::is shook back to reality:: Huh? What? What?

Suddenly… the door opens! _BAM!_

Tamahome: ::comes in:: The handsome one has arrived!! (turns to Miaka) I've brought you some food, Miaka! (holds out a McDonalds take-out)

Miaka: (runs to Tamahome) Oh, Tamahome!!! Aishiteru!!! Daisuki!! Wo Ai Ni!! I love you!! Arigatou Gozaimasu!! (grabs the plastic from Tamahome's hands)

Tamahome: Miaka…!!!

Miaka: Tamahome! ::stuffing her face with five pieces of chicken nuggets:: I love you so much!

Tamahome: I love you too Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tama-

Suboshi:: AHH! It's a wiiitttccchhhhh! (points to Taiitsukun who is behind Tamahome)

Taiitsukun: (grabs Tamahome) You're not allowed in here! Get back outside!

Tamahome: Goodbye… Miaka!!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Mia-(the door is closed shut)

Suboshi: ::Bangs his head with the chair:: Why, why, why?~ WHY ME?!

Miaka: (burps) Good lunch! Now I'm full!!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yui: ::sighs:: ughhh… it's soo boring!!! I've read allll of my textbooks already, and all of my _Harry Potter_ and _Twilight_ books are inside the bedroom where Amiboshi is! If I go in, he's gonna lecture me about 'natural' stuff again, or about peace in World War II and shit like that!!! ::freezes:: Wait! I know! I'll go call Miaka and see how she's doing!!

*riiiiinnngggggggg* *riiiiiinnnngggggg*

Suboshi: Miaka! Go get the fucking phone!

Miaka: ah stih effing! (_I'm still eating_)!!

Suboshi: (walks and grabs the phone, annoyed) Hello?! What the fuck do you want?! I'm busy at the moment so don't call here ever again!!!! Got that? Unless you want to die?! *he says it so rudely*

Yui: Suboshi?

Suboshi: *cracks* (his world is shattered to pieces) ::is frozen still:: Y-Yui-sama?

Yui: Ouch. Suboshi, your words hurt me. *sigh* Sorry for bothering you… I just wanted to see how you guys were doing, but I guess I'm not needed, so.. bye. (hangs up) ::beep:: ::beep:: ::beep::

Suboshi: (His Ryuuseisui tears down the living room)

Miaka: (stuffing her face with chocolates) Oh, what happened to you?

Suboshi: …. Yui-sama… (walks of depressed in the shadows) Yui-sama… Yui-sama… Yui-sama…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

At night…

Miaka: (pulls out her Tamahome doll and squeezes it) Tamahome…

Tamahome Doll: Miaka

Miaka: (pulls out a Hotohori plush doll) Hotohori…

Hotohori Doll: Miaka…

Miaka: Tamahome… (squeezes Tamahome Doll)

Tamahome Doll: Miaka…

Suboshi: (grabs two of the plushies) THAT'S ENOUGH! We won't be able to sleep if you keep doing that!!

Miaka: Fine.

(closes the light)

Miaka: Suboshi…

Suboshi: WHAT?!

Miaka: You're supposed to say my name when I say your name. Suboshi…

Suboshi: ::goes insane and locks himself inside the bathroom::

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yui: *yawns* I'm sleepy. Let's sleep.

Amiboshi: no, no. Today is a Tuesday, the prayer day! We should offer a prayer to Seiryuu! And ask him for peace and harmony!

Yui: Sorry, I don't worship dragons.

Amiboshi: But you're the priestess! Now pray with me! Oh Sieyruu, Seiryuu, Seiryuu… Hummmmm….. Hummmmmm…

Yui: ::is forced to pray::

END!


End file.
